2024-08-22
Dear MW,
Self is not just how we feel about who we are, it is a dynamic process that feeds back into itself and shapes our lives and the lives of others. Let’s break that down.
Self is a dynamic process because it changes over time. You will go to places that you can hardly imagine and experience things that change your idea of who you are. This is a natural part of life. And it is something you will find great joy in. You will realize that who you are isn’t all that different from who you want to be.
You can imagine that your Self is like momentum. It is the thing that keeps you going to school, interested in computers, and playing the saxophone. You do these things not because you wake up each day and decide to, but because they are a part of who you are, at least for the moment. Eventually, you will start to question these things.
Why do I go to school?
Am I actually talented with computers?
Do I play the saxophone enough to consider myself a player?
You ask these questions because that is who you are too. You are sometimes too curious for your own good!
That is okay though. You will come to learn much about yourself in the coming years. More than most people venture to in a lifetime, or at the very least until they are much older and confronted with these questions by other chapters of life. When you ask these questions, you are peeling away at the layers of yourself that give most people their auto pilot. They are the layers that tell people how to interact with each other and with their environment without thinking too hard about it. As a result, you will definitely end up thinking “too hard” about it.
All your thinking will lead you to discover that Self is a feedback loop — that your attention and effort are like the forces that affect the momentum of your Self. What you pay attention to and work on becomes who you are. Who you are becomes what you pay attention to and work on. At least that is the idea. You are a bit of curious case though. Over the course of the next decade, you will come to realize that you develop the ability to redefine yourself completely. You see, when you peeled away all those layers of who you are, you realized that you can’t survive without being somebody. You have to do something, think something, and care about something to survive. And despite the waves of thoughts and emotions you will endure, you will learn that a survivor is what you are. So you will build yourself back up again.
When you do that, you won’t settle for being the kind of person who you used to be. You will start from first principles, choosing the way to be which suits you along the way. You will become an adventurer, if for no other reason than it feels good on you. You will become a runner and a writer (no, really). You will become a listener and a kind soul and a student of many subjects. You will become a lover and a storyteller.
This may all sound implausible right now, but I think you will learn in time that you are implausible. That is part of who you are too. And I want to thank you in advance for the inspiration you yield. You have done a great many things to encourage me and I am grateful. I still have a great many things that I want to become and you have helped to show me what is possible. I’m excited to see where we go next together.
Yours truly,
Wally Flowers